501(c)(3) Status
Benefits and disadvantages

Once your organization has become larger and better organized you may want to consider applying for 501(c)(3) Status as a charitable organization. This status comes with benefits but, also a few disadvantages. Here are the list of benefits and disadvantages:


Benefits:

Qualify for grants from governmental agencies.

Qualify for grants from private foundations.

Provide tax deductions for your donors’ gifts.

Receive tax exemptions from federal, state, local, income, property, sales and excise taxes.

Provide legal protections for the association’s directors and officers.

Disadvantages:

Must keep detailed financial records.

Required to prepare and file an annual report or other periodic report with the state.

Must make financial records available to organizations or individuals that contribute funds to the association.

Association must not engage in political activities such as campaigning, lobbying, or support of specific candidates for office.


Whether your association decides to apply for this status is up to them. If your organization is interested in applying for 501(c)(3) status contact the IRS and get package 1023, Application for Recognition of Exemption. The application must be complete and accompanied by the appropriate user fee. The organization should also request an employer identification number using Form SS-4, Application for Employer Identification Number, even if the organization does not have any employees. All forms can be gotten on the web at www.irs.gov or you can go to the Beaumont IRS office located at 550 Fannin St., phone number 1-800-829-3676.




Neighborhood Association Projects and Activities Ideas

Neighborhood associations have participated in the following activities and projects:

"Greet the New Neighbor" program

Newsletters, directories & telephone trees

Crime prevention initiatives (i.e. Crime Watch Group or Citizens on Patrol)

Graffiti Clean-up

"Neighborhood Night Out"

Security lighting projects

Neighborhood Traffic Control

Youth activities

Child safety programs

"Kid Watch" Safe Neighborhood program

Land use studies

Street improvements

Leadership workshops

Fire prevention education

Fire safety programs

Neighborhood surveys

Block parties

Festivals

Home tours

Paint/fix-up projects

Neighborhood clean-ups

Holiday celebrations

Produce co-ops

School supply drives

Fund raising activities

Neighborhood beautification projects

Yard of the Month programs

Median landscaping projects

Park developments

Running your meetings

When a neighborhood association has become established and more than ten or so members begin to show on a regular basis it may be time to change the way meetings are handled. A new location (other than someone’s house) might be in order. Church’s, activity centers, local school, libraries etc, tend to be good places for such gatherings. Also, the way the meeting is run will probably have to be changed as well. A more orderly way of discussing and debating topics will be required if you hope to get anything accomplished. Parliamentary procedure will be your best way of conducting your meetings.

What Is Parliamentary Procedure?
It is a set of rules for conduct at meetings, which allows everyone to be heard and to make decisions without confusion.

Why is Parliamentary Procedure Important?
Because it's a time tested method of conducting business at meetings and public gatherings. It can be adapted to fit the needs of any organization. Today, Robert's Rules of Order newly revised is the basic handbook of operation for most clubs, organizations and other groups. So it's important that everyone know these basic rules!

If you're at a meeting where people are making and seconding "motions," it's probably being run by parliamentary procedure (the U.S. version is called "Roberts rules of order").

Organizations using parliamentary procedure usually follow a fixed order of business. Below is a typical example:


1. Call to order
2. Roll call of members present
3. Reading of minutes of last meeting
4. Officers’ reports
5. Committee reports
6. Special orders --- Important business previously designated for consideration at this meeting
7. Unfinished business
8. New business
9. Announcements
10. Adjournment

The method used by members to express themselves is in the form of moving motions. A motion is a proposal that the entire membership take action or a stand on an issue. Individual members can:


1. Call to order
2. Second motions
3. Debate motions
4. Vote on motions

There are four Basic Types of Motions:

1. Main Motions: The purpose of a main motion is to introduce items to the membership for their consideration. They cannot be made when any other motion is on the floor, and yield to privileged, subsidiary, and incidental motions.
2. Subsidiary Motions: Their purpose is to change or affect how a main motion is handled, and is voted on before a main motion.
3. Privileged Motions: Their purpose is to bring up items that are urgent about special or important matters unrelated to pending business.
4. Incidental Motions: Their purpose is to provide a means of questioning procedure concerning other motions and must be considered before the other motion.

How are Motions Presented?

1. Obtaining the floor


a. Wait until the last speaker has finished
b. Rise and address the Chairman by saying, "Mr. Chairman, or Mr. President."
c. Wait until the Chairman recognizes you


2. Make Your Motion


a. Speak in a clear and concise manner
b. Always state a motion affirmatively. Say, "I move that we ..." rather than, "I move that we do not ...".
c. Avoid personalities and stay on your subject.


3. Wait for Someone to Second Your Motion
4. Another member will second your motion or the Chairman will call for a second
5. If there is no second to your motion it is lost
6. The Chairman States Your Motion


a. The Chairman will say, "It has been moved and seconded that we..." Thus placing your motion before the membership for consideration and action
b. The membership then either debates your motion, or may move directly to a vote
c. Once the chairman presents your motion to the membership it becomes "assembly property", and cannot be changed by you without the consent of the members.


7. Expanding on Your Motion


a. The time for you to speak in favor of your motion is at this point in time, rather than at the time you present it.
b. The mover is always allowed to speak first.
c. All comments and debate must be directed to the chairman.
d. Keep to the time limit for speaking that has been established.
e. The mover may speak again only after other speakers are finished, unless called upon by the Chairman.


8. Putting the Question to the Membership


a. The Chairman asks, "Are you ready to vote on the question?"
b. If there is no more discussion, a vote is taken.
c. On a motion to move the previous question may be adapted.

Voting on a Motion

The method of vote on any motion depends on the situation and the by-laws of policy of your organization. There are five methods used to vote by most organizations, they are:


1. By Voice -- The Chairman asks those in favor to say, "aye", those opposed to say "no". Any member may move for an exact count.
2. By Roll Call -- Each member answers "yes" or "no" as his name is called. This method is used when a record of each person's vote is required.
3. By General Consent -- When a motion is not likely to be opposed, the Chairman says, "if there is no objection ..." The membership shows agreement by their silence, however if one member says, "I object," the item must be put to a vote.
4. By Division -- This is a slight verification of a voice vote. It does not require a count unless the chairman so desires. Members raise their hands or stand.
5. By Ballot -- Members write their vote on a slip of paper, this method is used when secrecy is desired.

There are two other motions that are commonly used that relate to voting.

1. Motion to Table -- This motion is often used in the attempt to "kill" a motion. The option is always present, however, to "take from the table", for reconsideration by the membership.
2. Motion to Postpone Indefinitely -- This is often used as a means of parliamentary strategy and allows opponents of motion to test their strength without an actual vote being taken. Also, debate is once again open on the main motion.

Parliamentary Procedure is the best way to get things done at your meetings. But, it will only work if you use it properly.

1. Allow motions that are in order.
2. Have members obtain the floor properly.
3. Speak clearly and concisely.
4. Obey the rules of debate.
5. Most importantly, BE COURTEOUS.

When members disagree

Neighborhood associations, like any group of people, can run into problems with personality conflicts, burnout and leadership issues. Conflict usually takes the form in two ways: conflict as a group and conflict as individuals. Either one can be devastating to an organization and what it can and will accomplish. Listed below are some ways to deal with: conflict, difficult behavior and tension/anger. In addition, communication has also been addressed because good communication is key to stopping the conflict before it even starts.

Steps in the Problem-Solving Process

Genuine conflict resolution requires two major components: the principles of conflict resolution (separate the people from the problem; focus on interests, not positions; invent options for mutual gain; and use objective criteria as the basis for decision-making) and a problem-solving process (negotiation, mediation, or consensus decision making). The conflict resolution processes are characterized by a series of steps that enable the disputants to identify their own needs and interests and to work cooperatively to find solutions to meet those needs and interests. Each process gives support and direction to the cooperative effort, assisting the parties to stay focused on the problem rather than on each other and to find a mutually acceptable resolution. In addition, genuine conflict resolution includes extensive training and practice using the principles and problem-solving processes of conflict resolution.

The six steps in each problem-solving process are:

1. Set the stage.
2. Gather perspectives.
3. Identify interests.
4. Create options.
5. Evaluate options.
6. Generate agreement.

Principles of Conflict Resolution

Effective implementation of the conflict resolution processes of negotiation, mediation, or consensus decision-making requires an understanding of the following four essential principles:

Separate people from the problem.
Every problem involves both substantive issues and relationship issues. By separating these issues, individuals come to see themselves as working side by side, attacking the problem, not each other. Where perceptions are inaccurate, you can look for ways to educate. If emotions run high, you can find ways for each person involved to let off steam. Where misunderstanding exists, you can work to improve communication.

Focus on interests, not positions.
Understanding the difference between positions and interests is crucial to problem solving. Interests, not positions, define the problem. Positions are something that individuals decide they want; interests are the underlying motivations behind the positions they take. Compromising between positions is not likely to produce an agreement, which will effectively take care of the human needs that led individuals to adopt those positions. Where such interests are not identified, temporary agreements may be reached, but typically do not last because the real interests have not been addressed.

Invent options for mutual gain.
Disputants focus on identifying options for resolving the conflict without the pressure of reaching a decision. A brainstorming process is used to invent a wide range of options that advance shared interests and creatively reconcile differing interests. The key ground rule to brainstorming is to postpone criticism and evaluation of the ideas being generated. To broaden their options, those in a dispute think about the problem in different ways and build upon the ideas presented.

Use objective criteria.
Using objective criteria ensures that the agreement reflects some fair standard instead of the arbitrary will of either side. Using objective criteria means that neither party needs to give in to the other; rather, they can defer to a fair solution. Objective criteria are determined by disputants based on fair standards and fair procedures.

Based on writings of Roger Fisher and William Ury, Getting To Yes

Dealing with Difficult Behavior

Conflict is inevitable. However, that does not mean that we cannot work to prevent unproductive behavior that leads to conflict. Difficult behavior is a good example of an area where a difference can be made. Although it is easy to label people as difficult, the real focus should always be on the actual behavior. Dealing effectively with difficult behavior is a skill that can nip conflict in the bud.

Difficult behavior is essentially that which inhibits the performance of others. Left alone it will get worse, affect more people and continue to incur hidden costs for the organization in which it occurs. Most difficult behavior is accidental, but it can also be the result of intentional thought. Sometimes it is sporadic and takes us by surprise. At other times it is ongoing and forms patterns.

Difficult behavior takes many forms. It includes gossiping, going over your leaders heads, foot dragging, ignoring orders, refusing to talk, being rude, yelling, ignoring, harassing, and much more. At the core, most conflict is about needs that have not been satisfied-not just physical needs, but also psychological and procedural needs. Difficult behavior is often a result of psychological needs for control, recognition, affection, and respect.

In and of themselves there is nothing wrong with having these needs. Problems arise in the satisfaction of these needs when difficult behavior has been rewarded in the past. For example, if people always listen when we interrupt we will continue to use this as an effective strategy. We should try not to reward difficult behavior. Beyond reinforcement, if we don’t have the communication skills to let people know how we feel, or we loose it when things get emotionally charged, then difficult behavior can be expected.

It would be easy if there were some magical cure that could be applied to all difficult behavior. The fact that there is no panacea, does not mean that we are helpless and that there is nothing to be done. Even so, one shouldn’t expect instant results. Changing behavior takes tact and time.

The following ideas for dealing with difficult behavior are gleaned from Robert Bacal’s book-The Complete Idiots Guide to Dealing with Difficult Employees (CWL Publishing, 2000). Lets start with ideas that don’t work: ignoring the problem behavior despite its impact on performance, responding in kind, blaming rather than problem solving, labeling the person as difficult and trying to psychoanalyze. If these are bad ideas what are things we can do that help?

Stay centered
When we loose our self-control and restraint the situation does not improve. In fact it is more likely to get worse. Decisions made in the heat of the moment are seldom the best, and lack the benefits of our creativity. Our challenge is to slow down, and resist a knee jerk reaction. Staying steady, stable and grounded gives us the strong foundation we need to take on the most difficult behavior.

When we indulge ourselves by taking it personally (forgetting that offense is 10% given and 90% taken) we start playing negative internal tapes in our head. We tell ourselves that the person is bad, unreliable, beyond reason. The danger is that these labels become self-fulfilling, and do not give any benefit of the doubt. Rather than putting our energy into problem solving we feel smug blaming the other. We forget that it takes two to make things worse.

Reality check
An important question to consider as soon as possible is whether the behavior is really causing performance problems. If it is not, and left alone things will not get worse, then leaving things often makes sense. As we reality check it is important to consider the impact of the behavior on others and not just ourselves.

Focus on behavior
This is the key to dealing with difficult behavior. As tempting as it is to focus on the person this should be avoided. By separating the person from the behavior it enables one-to paraphrase Fisher, Ury and Patton in their best seller “Getting to Yes”-to be hard on the problem and soft on the person.

Listen
Listening is widely acknowledged as a core communication skill that affects the ways we prevent and resolve conflict. When dealing with people whose behavior is getting to us we should make a special effort to hear the other person out. Even when you disagree! This enables you to validate the psychological needs of the other, and to let them know that you can imagine how they are feeling. In addition to validation and empathy, asking open and closed questions, rephrasing and summarizing, and using “I Statements” are all key listening activities.

Give feedback
A common problem with difficult behavior is that the person is unaware that his or her behavior is causing a problem. At other times the extent of the impact is not comprehended. By giving timely feedback about specific behavior misunderstanding can be avoided and expectations clarified. A useful formula for giving feedback that deals with both emotions and facts, is the “I-Statement.” I feel frustrated when you interrupt me at our team meetings. It breaks my train of thought and I struggle getting started again. I would appreciate it if I could finish with what I am saying.”

Use performance management techniques
This is an important preventative technique. The goal is to make sure that responsibility is placed where it belongs. For example, with naysayers it is crucial that responsibility for involvement be returned. This is a useful set of questions that can be used to guide an effective discussion:

Where are we now?

Where do we need to be?

How will we get there?

What do we need to do?

How can I help?

Third parties
Difficult behavior can be intentional, aggressive, sustained and extreme. When responsible talk does not work it make sense to seek help. Be prepared to give a detailed briefing about the situation. In some situations the support of the higher leadership may be necessary.

Beyond internal line support, consider using mediation if you think you and the other person can find a solution yourselves. Arbitration may make sense if a solution to a particular problem is needed quickly and you and the other person are struggling to communicate.

Formal authority
As a general rule, it makes sense to use power only as a last resort. When you use power you win and the other loses. More often than not, resentment and alienation accompany this action. Unacceptable behavior that does not change should be addressed as a disciplinary matter. Ideally an organization will describe behavioral expectations in a code, and specify how infractions will be dealt with. It is possible to retain the right to expel at will while using a progressive disciplinary procedure. Following a fair procedure can go a long way to defend a charge of discrimination.

In addition to using the above techniques to prevent and resolve difficult behavior, we should be mindful of things we can do to limit the chances of being perceived as difficult ourselves. Matching our actions with our words, and our words, with our tone and body language is important. In congruencies lead to suspicion and mistrust. Consistent decision making and achievable promises and commitments will also go a long way.

Conclusion
The reality is that we can all be difficult from time to time. Dealing with difficult behavior is not easy and so we often procrastinate. We do so at our own peril. Being proactive and engaging the person in a conversation about their behavior is the first step toward conflict prevention.

The Top 10 Tips on Managing Conflict, Emotional Tension and Anger

To be a safe and predictable person for those around you at work, the neighborhood association and at home, it is essential that you are able to maintain your composure when you feel like your 'buttons' are being pushed. This strength will help you to achieve your goals in business as well as your goals for your personal relationships.

1. Share negative emotions only in person or on the phone. E-mails, answering machine messages, and notes are too impersonal for the delicate nature of negative words. What feels like a bomb on paper may feel like a feather when delivered in person.

2. Pepper your responses with the phrase, "I understand". This phrase will support your goals when the tension is high and you need to find common ground to form compromises or agreements with the other party.

3. Take notice when you feel threatened by what someone is saying to you. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or to "shut down" the other person's communication. It will take this kind of discipline to become an open, trusting communicator.

4. Practice making requests of others when you are angry. It is often much more useful to make a request than to share your anger. For example, if an association member who volunteered to make calls to others to remind them of meetings and didn't because they were "too busy", it is better to make a request of them than to let your anger leak out in other ways such as by becoming more distant.

5. Try repeating the exact words that someone is saying to you when they are in a lot of emotional pain or when you disagree with them completely. This mirroring technique can keep both the speaker and the listener 'centered' in a difficult conversation, especially when the attitude of the person doing the mirroring is to gain understanding of a different point of view.

6. Take responsibility for your feelings to avoid blaming others. Notice when 'blameshifting' begins to leak into your speech. "I feel angry when you are twenty minutes late and you don't call me" is much better than, "You make me so mad by being late."

7. Learn to listen to the two sides of the conflict that you are in as if you were the mediator or the counselor. If you can listen and respond in this way you will bring peace and solutions to the conflict more quickly. For example, in response to an employee's raise request, you might say, "On the one hand I understand that you really need the raise, and on the other hand I represent the company, whose funds are very scarce at this time. Is there a way that I can work on your compensation package that does not involve cash?" Here, the mediator's point of view can look for the creative compromise that takes into account the limits and the needs of both parties.

8. Take a playful attitude towards developing the skill of emotional self-control in high conflict situations. You could view maintaining self-control in a tense, angry conversation as an athletic feat. You could also view developing this skill as similar to working out at the gym with weights - the more that you use your self-control muscle the bigger it will grow and the easier it will be to remain calm when tension is great.

9. Wait a few days to cool down emotionally when a situation makes you feel wild with intense feelings, such as rage. As time passes, you will be able to be more objective about the issues and to sort out the truth about the situation more clearly.

10. Make a decision to speak with decorum whenever you are angry or frustrated. If you give yourself permission to blow up, people will not feel safe around you. They will feel that you are not predictable and will carry 'shields' when they are near you. The fear and walls of others will not support your goals for success in relationships or in the association.

Barriers to Every Day Communication
Sources: Robert Bolton, People Skills, (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1979).
Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training: The "No-Lose" Program for Raising Responsible Children (New York: Peter H. Wyden, 1970).

One of the most common complaints from clients entering mediation is that they cannot communicate with each other. All of us have experienced, at one time or another, the frustration of feeling misunderstood and being unable to make ourselves understood by another person. In mediation, the first step toward resolving a conflict is for the mediator to understand the point of view of each person, and then to help the parties understand each other. The more people understand each other, the more likely they can resolve their conflict. However, this requires both listening and assertion skills which are different from our typical ways of communicating. Therefore, such skills must be learned. Here at the Northern California Mediation Center, we spend a good deal of time teaching these skills in our trainings and modeling such skills with our clients. The response has been so positive that we would like to share some of these basic communication skills with you in this series of articles.

This article introduces the concepts of good communication and discusses some of the common barriers to communication. Future articles will address what is good listening and constructive assertion, and how to do each effectively.

Good communication skills are mutual respect skills. Ideally, each person will show respect for the other as well as respect for self. You show respect for the other person by listening fully and demonstrating that you "get" what that person means; and you respect yourself when you assert or "give" your own legitimate self-interest without aggression. To have a complete communication, each person must both "get" and "give."

Let us look at some of the conversational bad habits, which often interfere with full and complete communication. Anything, which blocks the meaning of a communication, is a barrier to communication. These usually fall into one of three categories: judging, sending solutions or avoiding the other person's concerns. Some common examples follow:

CRITICIZING: "Well, you brought that on yourself."
NAME-CALLING: "You bullheaded, stupid jerk."
DIAGNOSING: "You are only saying that because you feel guilty."

All of these responses judge the other person and therefore impose the speaker's point of view. The other person will often feel misunderstood and unsafe, and is more likely to react in a defensive or self-protective manner.

ORDERING: "Go fix that right now."
THREATENING: "If you don't agree to these terms, I will sue you."
MORALIZING: "You ought to apologize to her."
EXCESSIVE/APPROPRIATE QUESTIONING: "When did it happen?" "Are you sorry?"
ADVISING: "If I were you, this is what I would do..."

Each of the above is an attempt to solve the other person's problem. They are variously direct, manipulative, self-righteous or coercive. Even when caringly intended, the solution is often proffered without a full understanding of the problem. Such responses may make the problem worse, or create a new issue without resolving the original problem. They also demean the other person's capacity to handle his or her own problems, and are likely to foster anxiety and resentment.

DIVERTING: "If you think that's bad, let me tell you what happened to me."
LOGICAL ARGUMENT: "If you leave your keys in the car, you can expect someone to steal it."
REASSURING: "You have the tools to handle this. You'll get over it."

The last three responses avoid the other person's concerns and enable us to keep an emotional distance from the person or from an uncomfortable topic. By using such responses, we often are trying to make ourselves feel more comfortable, rather than truly being helpful to the other person.

The barriers to communication listed above do not always have a negative impact on communications. However, they are high-risk responses when people are interacting under stress. They tend to block the feeling of the other person, who then is less likely to express his or her true feelings in a constructive way. Rather than fostering understanding, they may diminish the other's self-esteem, or foster resentment, defensiveness, withdrawal or dependency in the other, and inhibit their problem solving ability. Unfortunately, it has been estimated that people use these responses 90% of the time when they are discussing a problem or need.

Good Communication Starts With Listening
Sources: Robert Bolton, People Skills, (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1979).
Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training: The "No-Lose" Program for Raising Responsible Children (New York: Peter H. Wyden, 1970).

Many of us think that communication is talking - and talk we do. We interrupt, advise, reassure, judge, analyze, criticize, argue, moralize, threaten, divert, diagnose, etc., etc. But, good communication requires good listening as well as talking. In fact, since we have two ears and only one mouth, listening just might be the more important skill. However, we receive almost no training in good listening and usually do not realize that really "hearing" someone is not a passive activity.

To be a good listener, we must, first, pay attention. The remainder of this article will focus on "attending" skills. The next article will discuss how to listen "actively" rather than passively. When you are speaking and someone is not paying attention, how do you feel? Annoyed, frustrated, discounted, rejected, anxious or angry? Such feelings usually make communication more difficult. So how can we show someone who is speaking that we really are paying attention to them? We can do this both nonverbally and verbally.

Research shows that about 85% of what we communicate is nonverbal. This includes our posture, physical movements, eye contact and our psychological presence. So, when someone is speaking to you, is your posture inclined toward the speaker, so as to invite and encourage expression? Or is your back turned or your arms or legs tightly crossed, which discourages and cuts off involvement? Are you fidgeting or otherwise distracting the speaker or yourself? Are you making good eye contact with the person? By looking at and observing the speaker, not only will the speaker feel "attended" to, you will learn more about what is really important to him or her. Finally, we cannot pretend to pay attention by employing these physical techniques without also being psychologically present. We can’t fake interest. The speaker will know if our hearts and minds are not really there.

Verbal ways of showing that we are paying attention include:

1) An open invitation to talk,
2) Using one or two words to encourage talking to continue,
3) Asking open-ended questions and
4) Knowing when to be silent. For example, "You look like something is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?" describes a person’s body language followed by an open invitation to talk. It is important to silently allow the person time to decide whether to talk and what to talk about. If someone chooses not to accept the invitation, don’t try to force them. Back off and respect their privacy.

Brief responses to encourage continued talking include "mm-hmmm," "I see," "Oh?" "Right," "And?" "Go on," "Tell me more," etc. These don’t imply either agreement or disagreement. They simply mean, "Yes, I hear you - please go on."

A good listener uses questions sparingly because questions tend to focus the conversation on the questioner’s perspective and concerns and can derail the focus of the speaker. Work on asking fewer questions, and when you do, ask "open-ended" questions. Compare "Did you call the police?" to "What did you do?" Or, "Do you feel anxious about the meeting tomorrow?" to "How do you feel about the meeting tomorrow?" An open-ended question is like an essay question, which allows the speaker, rather than the questioner, to lead the conversation and clarify his or her own concerns. A closed question is like a true/false question and often suggests or narrows the agenda.

Finally, knowing when to be silent can be a powerful communication tool. Silence allows the speaker to become aware of his or her own feelings, to explore more deeply and to proceed at his or her own pace. Because many listeners become self-conscious with silence, they feel the need to "break" it by talking or asking questions. Unfortunately, this usually disrupts and derails the speaker. How can silence be handled? Pay attention to the body posture of the speaker and "listen" to what it says to you. Try to imagine what the speaker might be feeling, consider various ways that you might respond, and then choose the most helpful response.